Only Words
by Jacquin
Summary: Wes/Fred. A stand alone piece set some time after Double or Nothing in which Fred finally visits Wesley.


Author's Notes:   
1. The poem is from the movie, Looking for Alibrandi.   
2. I claim no ownership of the characters. They are from the TV series, Angel. The story is set after Forgiving   
3. This piece was written during exam week hell, after overhearing the section of the movie quoted and with the song, With Or Without You by U2 playing in the background. I think that goes a long way in explaining the mood of the piece.  
4. Many thanks to Annabelle for the title, MB for the feedback and Jonathan for being my awesome new beta.   


**Only Words**   


As she walked along the narrow hallway, Winifred Burkle inhaled deeply to calm herself. She wasn't sure why she was doing this; she was sure she wouldn't be welcome, but she couldn't stay away any longer. It had almost killed her to stay away this long already. She felt nothing but guilt for not having come earlier; she should have listened to herself. By listening to the others she had betrayed her true feelings and, much worse, she had betrayed him. Each step closer to his door caused alternating waves of confidence and apprehension to flow through her. 

When she turned the corner and his door at last came into sight, she was surprised to see that it was open about a foot. Not wanting to give him the chance to see her and turn her away before she even got there, Fred changed her pace and crept over to his apartment as quietly as possible. As she approached, she could hear a faint mumbling and was soothed to once again hear his husky voice and warm English accent. She paused for a moment in the doorway, concealing herself as best she could, so that she could fully take in and appreciate the sight of the friend she had missed so dearly. Despite being slightly shocked at his appearance - he was thinner than she remembered and his unshaven face and tousled hair made him look rough and unkempt - she enjoyed the sight. He was still Wesley and her heart beat a little faster just seeing him. 

Seated at his desk, he was deeply focused on his task. He guided the nib of his fountain pen quickly across a piece of paper, muttering words to himself as he did so. Fred turned her attention to the words, wanting to lose herself in his voice. However, as she listened a shiver of fear started to work its way through her. 

_"If I could be anything other than what I am,   
I'd want a tomorrow  
If I could be what my father wants me to be,   
Maybe I'd stay for that too  
If I could be what you wanted me to be   
I'd want to stay   
But I am what I am  
And all I want is to be free"  
_

"Wesley!" As her alarmed scream escaped her lips, she dashed across the room and flung herself at him still in his chair. 

It took him a second to realize what was happening and even longer to believe it. He bent his head to look at her where she knelt beside him, arms wrapped tightly around his waist and head buried in his chest. He wasn't quite sure why she was there or what had distressed her so greatly, but he couldn't deny the elation and relief caused just by her presence. He began to stroke her hair and gently tilted her head so that her eyes met his. He was startled to see the near-tears that shimmered in them, dangerously close to escaping. 

"Tell me what's wrong, Fred." he whispered with a tender voice. 

"Your words," She managed to gasp before her tears broke free and started to stain her face. "The words you were saying scared me so much. I don't want to lose you, Wesley. I wouldn't be able to cope if anything happened to you." 

Wesley took a few moments to gently stoke away her tears with his thumb before answering her. "Nothing's going to happen to me, I promise you." 

"But it sounded like..." 

"They're from a movie, Fred. The words are just from a movie; something I flicked onto late one night. The scene was beautiful and the words struck me as powerful. I could identify with them and so I say them sometimes, I find them reassuring. But you needn't worry; I'm not going anywhere. Especially now I know the woman I love cares about me too." 

Overwhelmed with relief, Fred could feel the colour creeping into her cheeks as she realized that what she felt was much stronger than just caring. She knew now why the time spent apart from him had been unbearable and why for so long she had felt compelled to visit. Ashamed that it had taken her so to come to the realization, she turned her head away from him. Misunderstanding the movement, Wesley became flustered, starting to apologize and at the same time attempting to disentangle himself from her embrace. But this only caused her to hold him tighter. He stilled and spoke to with a voice full of confusion.   
"Fred, I don't understand." 

She to gazed intently at him for a second before answering him. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to act so strange. It's just I finally figured something out." 

"What's that?" he asked with unmasked curiousity. 

A shy smile spread across her features as she slid herself up his body until she was comfortably perched on his lap, her arms never breaking contact with his body. When she leaned in to rest her head on his shoulder, he was captivated by listening to the rhythm of her breathing and feeling the corresponding sensation that resulted from her warm breath on his throat. Only her soft words could bring him out of his reverie. 

"Wesley... I love you," she whispered. "And I don't want to let go right now." 

His immediate reaction was to draw his arms up to circle her and hold her, the way he had always longed to. As he drew her closer, he gave his hushed response. "You never have to, my love." 


End file.
